Tonight as I was waiting far too long at the bus stop for how cold it was outside, I remembered that no matter where you are located or what it is you're doing, you're job sucks sometimes. ITS A JOB. That's why you get paid to do it. All in all I have a pretty bitchin' one. I have a tendency to let my emotions get the best of me. When it happens, I start thinking irrationally and generalizing my life to ALL be in accordance with my emotions at that time It's unhealthy. It's inaccurate. It's deceiving and it's unfair. Tonight before I lay down to ATTEMPT a solid nights sleep, I can honestly say that I'm content. Here, right now, alone on my couch. Alone in my apartment. Alone in a big city that is all new and uncomfortable. I'm content and I'm happy that I GET to be here. I"m happy that I get to have all these things and get to have this experience.
In other areas of life, I've successfully been here for almost two months now and have not yet had to experience shattered glass next to my car... or my car not being there.... or my car having a fancy yellow apparatus attached to the hubcap. Only two parking tickets. Really nothing to complain about in this city. But let's not jinx it.
And my apartment is coming together well... by this time, after all the places I've moved to in the last few years, I start to see how they all look the same. I don't like that. This issue needs to be confronted and we need to seek a solution. I think the solution may involve the crazy boys I work with that are ridiculous at painting walls...
In other pleasant news... I have friends coming to town this weekend. I get to wear my ridiculous Halloween costume. Get to bartend the party Friday night. Get to go to a rad fashion show Thursday night. Get PAYED Friday. Get to go to LB next weekend. Get to put on the fashion show the following weekend. Get to go home and see my family two weekends after that. Time if flying. It's fuckin nutts.
All in all, despite things that I wish were different right now or in the past, or what I hope will be different in the future.... ultimately at the end of the day, and even at random spontaneous moments of the day, I'm proud of myself. I'd rather fall than never to have flown at all. Safety is for the faint of hearts and dreamers never sleep.
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