I am back to the mental place today of feeling like such a WASTE at this job. I do nothing all day. I have literally sat on my ass all day long and no one notices,... there's nothing pressing for me to do,... pretty much ever. It is really really degrading for me. I have a few warm leads on new opportunities but nothing has panned out yet. I had found a place in my heart and brain to be grateful and at least content, but I am so not in that space right now. Right now I feel like all the education I got was for absolutely nothing. This is so not what I want. This is so not what I thought it was going to be. I am so much better than this. I deserve better than this. But none the less I show up everyday to a job that is going nowhere at all, that makes me miserable, doesn't take care of it's employees, and leaves me completely drained of any hope or ambition.
Rad.
Solutions anyone? There's gotta be more to life than this. I have to try to believe that this is a rough spot that will be something to laugh about in the future. Right now I just have to try to keep from crying.
This is just a place for you to be until the better place comes around for you. Remember that this place you are in now is only temporary, it is also the job that brought you to SF and if that never would have happened I would not have met you......and I think you're pretty rad!
ReplyDeletei love you. unconditionally. no matter where you are, no matter what you do, no matter what. you are where you are supposed to be at this moment, no matter how uncomfortable that may seem at the moment. "let go of the results." ask for the strength to do so, or even for the faith to ask in the first place. i have faith in you my dear friend. a lot of it. :)
ReplyDelete