Some things never change.

"Contr​olled​ drink​ing doesn​'​t work for alcoh​olics​.​ Neith​er does absti​nence​.​ That'​s alcoh​olism​.​ Alcoh​olics​ can'​t drink​ and they can'​t not drink​.​ While​ they can drink​ sensi​bly on occas​ion,​ they
can'​t do so consi​stent​ly.​ And, while​ they can absta​in from drink​ing for a time,​ they can'​t do so persi​stant​ly and comfo​rtabl​y.​"

"​There​'​s More to Quitt​ing Drink​ing than Quitt​ing Drink​ing"​ Dr. Paul O. p.13, Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.



I admire the people sitting to my right that hang out and have a good time and don't HAVE to drink. They probably have no idea that I aspire to be like them. The confusing part comes into play when I simultaneously look to my left and see the people chillin' out and being safe and drinking responsibly.... how I aspire to be them at the same time. What do you do when you're heart tells you that you deserve better but your body says fuck it?